Why the blog?

Why am I writing this blog? What is the point?

There are an increasing number of resources out there for concussion recovery and Post Concussion Syndrome (PCS). Over the last few years, I have combed through and read over many websites and blogs; suffice to say, there are a lot of voices out there with a lot of different things to say. Nonetheless, as I read through all of this (particularly the blogs), I noticed one voice was missing – mine.

There is a tremendous amount being published for and/or by recovering athletes, caregivers, medical providers…but in all of that, I didn’t hear a voice that sounded familiar. I didn’t hear the voice of the average person who is fighting to figure out how all of this fits into a generic routine/life; the person who wants to get back to being able to go to work or school and still have a life outside those duties…the person who just wants to know how to get through each day.

I also realize that I have a somewhat unique perspective. While concussions vary from person to person (and concussion to concussion), I have collected enough concussions at this point that I’ve been able to identify patterns/recurring issues, and have had the opportunity to work through solutions/aids/workarounds concussion by concussion.

My unique perspective also includes the hard things: the crushing sense of defeat that comes when a therapy that lead to amazing results before is completely ineffective a few concussions later; the way lingering concussion symptoms chip away at your life and spirit; the grief that comes with being told you can no longer do the things you most enjoy. I have come to understand how an invisible injury is a double-edged sword: sometimes it’s nice to be able to hide your status as the walking wounded; other times, you wish you had a sign around your neck so that people would know why you’re having to do the things you’re doing.

On a personal level, I’m doing this for myself. As an intelligent individual who has always been articulate and eager to participate in stimulating conversations, developing cognitive deficits which limit me from being able to participate in these conversations has had a tremendous impact in my life. Though it sounds like a singular issue, the ripple effect this has had on my life is astounding…and devastating. This is my way of having a voice and engaging in conversation; this is my way of still being me. My life is impacted by concussions; my choices are informed by concussions…but who I am is not defined by concussions. I am still in here, and I still have a voice.